is pressure to perform without expectation really pressure to perform?

Haven't blogged for a while because the kids have been away. As it turns out, they actually read my stuff and find it interesting, even insightful. Its still unclear if they hear me when I speak -OK, I do tend to implore the Socratic method, meander into abstraction and  then find my way back using various metaphors to illustrate key points- but they do find it interesting, as do 161 other people who read this around the world -that in and of itself blows me away.....

But now #1 is back and #2 is returning in 5 days. I need to actually memorialize something that is worthy of a passing comment on the way out of the house, or at the very least, a raised eyebrow. I have to say, I do enjoy the pressure to perform but I really don't have any expectations of how that performance will be manifested. So what am I actually enjoying?