instant repulsion?

Have you ever met someone that just instantly repulsed you. Not an intellectual repulsion, but one from your core? Many times I have found that what is really upsetting me about the person is just a reflection of a character trait which I possess. A trait which I do not like or may not want to acknowledge I actually have.

As difficult and as infrequent as these interactions are, I relish them.  While I always find it hard to engage these people, it is a personal challenge that is worth undertaking; these experiences provide me with an opportunity to explore a dark part of myself and to hopefully grow beyond it, allowing me to get to know another person, consciously unencumbered my own prejudice.

thoughts and actions

Some believe that right action advances us to right thought. Others hold that the opposite is true; right thought brings about right action. In either case, the desired end result is achieving a state of both right thought and right action. Or to live a life, where one is more compassionate, more empathetic and more outwardly focused. And perhaps a life, where one is not so invested in an opinion such as the right way or the wrong way to actually live consciously, compassionately and with empathy.

Responding and reacting

Responding is not reacting. Reacting is unconsciously automatic while responding is consciously decisive. Reacting abrogates our choice of thoughts and actions to the current environment. Responding aligns our thoughts and actions with our goals. Reacting is easy. Responding requires patience, practice and persistence.

Challenge yourself by examing your thoughts and actions. Begin to cultivate the habit of response. Ultimately responding will become reaction.

Open secret number 1: the reality of control

We can't control the weather, traffic or the economy. We can't control our family, friends or the random people that may enter our lives. The only thing that we can actually control is how we respond; we can control ourselves. And taking control over ourselves is truly what really matters. It is the single most significant factor in making a difference in our own lives and the lives of those around us.

Is your reality really reality?

The Wilkinson microwave anisotropy probe, aka WMAP, was launched in 2001. The larger mission of the probe was to retrieve residual data from "the big bang" and thus allow us to gain a greater understanding of our universe and its origins. What it actually accomplished was to change our understanding of what makes up reality.

Data from the WMAP has shown that the vast majority of our universe is composed of unknown matter and energy. This undefined dark matter makes up approximately 23% of the universe, while undefined dark energy makes up approximately 73%. That means that what has been conventionally understood to make up reality is just 4% of the actual universe. Further, the vast majority of that 4% is made up of  hydrogen and helium (the stars), while the heavier elements (what we consider solid matter) is only approximately 0.03%.

So 96% of reality is not understood, not really quantifiable and apparently can't be directly perceived. Whereas everything with which we interact and what we believe that we understand only makes up between 0.03 and 4% of actual reality. The entire tangible and intangible world as we conventionally experience it, relate to it and interact with it is a statistically insignificant fraction of actuality.

So what is really real? Or more precisely, what is really significant? Are the things that we can hold more real or more significant than our thoughts and ideals? Are our emotions any less real or less significant than our actions? Are our perceived abilities more real and more significant than our unacknowledged limitations? Is our shared concept of reality any more real or more significant than own individual realities? Are the questions we ask any less real or less significant than the answers that we are given?

Don't count on 2nd chances

You never know when this time will be the last time. Truly understanding that kind of permanence is very powerful and can have a profound impact on your life and the lives of those you encounter.

Simply treat each moment of each interaction as if it may be the last. You will become more cognizant and respectful of your time as well as the time of others. You will make sure that you take every opportunity to tell friends and loved ones how much you care. Your obligations will become conscious acts of kindness and respect. Insignificant confrontations will dwindle away. Grudges will vanish. Hatreds will fall aside. You will find yourself truly appreciating both your time alone and the time spent with others. Each and every moment will be a blessing. Each and every action, a willful gift to yourself and those around you.